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Hansel and Gretel, 2018

Social media could have saved the day. EVERYONE would have known where they were.

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Title This:

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A few pretty obvious titles come to mind for this little doodle, but I thought I’d throw it out to you guys and see if we can come up with something clever. If I get enough responses that I like, maybe I’ll do a New Yorker style vote and give the winner a prize…

What Are You Doing New Year’s Eve?

champagneI don’t think I’ve ever been to a New Year’s Eve party. If I have, it clearly didn’t stick in my memory. I do remember various December thirty-firsts spent watching movies alone, or with my husband, or falling asleep at nine pm because, hey, that’s New Year’s on the east coast.

When I was twelve (that would have been the last day of 1996), I spent New Year’s Eve alone in my bedroom watching Clueless on the itty bitty TV/VCR combo I’d gotten for Christmas (high tech!), eating junk food and occasionally glancing over to my poster of Rider Strong (Shawn from Boy Meets World–I’d torn the poster, in which he held a rose and looked seductively at the camera, out of an issue of Tiger Beat).

Last year, I–what did I do? I think I woke up at midnight to curse my neighbor who was setting off fireworks. Thankfully, I don’t think either of the kids woke up (though the girl was still nursing round the clock so I’m sure she woke up an hour later) but the dog sure did–she hates fireworks.

I have always dreamed of donning a sparkly silver dress, painting on a smoky eye, and going somewhere with twinkle lights and champagne. It would have to be a hotel, I think, because I’ve always been wary of holiday drunk drivers–even moreso since two of my friends were hit by one in the early ’00s and each lost a leg.

I am the kind of person to ruin the party by bringing these things up–which is probably another reason I’ve never been to a New Year’s party. I’m not very cool, I guess. Never have been. Probably never will be.

Anyway, this wasn’t meant to be a PSA about drunk driving. I’m really quite curious: how do you spend New Year’s Eve? Is it all sparkles and sequins, or is it low-key? Maybe you don’t even celebrate–or maybe you stay up all night making lists of resolutions.

This or That: The Twilight Zone or The Week After Christmas?

TWZTitleSpiral001edI’m totally stealing this format from McSweeney’s and they’d probably do it better, but oh well. I thought it was funny.

  • The same things happen over and over. All sense of time dissolves.
  • A man on an airplane becomes convinced there’s a gremlin on the wing.
  • A woman goes to sleep and finds, when she wakes, that the world has changed entirely.
  • The world is destroyed and rebuilt again, all in twenty-two minutes.
  • You look into the mirror to find you’re suddenly an old woman.
  • The ants are in control. Resistance is useless.
  • Santa Claus decides to move to Bermuda.
  • A woman meets a man in a bar. They fall in love. Then he tells her he’s going to outer space in the morning.
  • The power goes out for three days. By the end, people are resorting to cannibalism.
  • Ice. Ice. Everywhere: ice.

Christmas Specials for Awesome People


Very British Problems, Season Two Episode One: “Very British Problems at Christmas”

This one is on Netflix, and if you haven’t discovered Very British Problems yet, you need to–especially if you’re an introvert and/or socially awkward (two terms that apparently define the British identity, according to the show). It’s narrated by Harry Potter‘s own Molly Weasley (Julie Walters) and features a lot of amazing actors/comedians, including Stephen Mangan and James Corden. Continue reading → Christmas Specials for Awesome People