This or That: The Twilight Zone or The Week After Christmas?

TWZTitleSpiral001edI’m totally stealing this format from McSweeney’s and they’d probably do it better, but oh well. I thought it was funny.

  • The same things happen over and over. All sense of time dissolves.
  • A man on an airplane becomes convinced there’s a gremlin on the wing.
  • A woman goes to sleep and finds, when she wakes, that the world has changed entirely.
  • The world is destroyed and rebuilt again, all in twenty-two minutes.
  • You look into the mirror to find you’re suddenly an old woman.
  • The ants are in control. Resistance is useless.
  • Santa Claus decides to move to Bermuda.
  • A woman meets a man in a bar. They fall in love. Then he tells her he’s going to outer space in the morning.
  • The power goes out for three days. By the end, people are resorting to cannibalism.
  • Ice. Ice. Everywhere: ice.
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Office Parties

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Does your/your partner’s company throw a holiday party? We attended one at my husband’s office yesterday afternoon. It was pretty low-key: some snacks, a ping-pong table, and coloring pages for the kids. My husband won second place in the ugly sweater contest for that Mario jumper you see in the picture, which isn’t really that ugly but only like four people wore ugly sweaters.

I always find office parties a little awkward–perhaps because it’s never been my office we’re partying in, but also because it seems so forced. I got to have a nice chat with somebody’s wife and daughters, but mostly people kept in small clumps of well-known office mates, talking about office stuff and sports teams, about which I know nothing.

The kids had a blast, though. Violet spun and spun to the Christmas music in her head, and Sam tried his hand at ping-pong.

What are your office parties like? I know they vary hugely in size and style. I’d love to hear your stories.

Some Thoughts on a Saturday Morning

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We’re visiting my parents this week. Last night, the girl and I slept cuddled on a futon while the boy and his daddy shared a mattress on the floor.

The kids have been having a blast. There’s a neighbor kid who’s spent a lot of time here, playing with them–Violet loves chasing him around, blowing raspberries.

My parents have the kind of house where people are constantly coming and going. They rent out portions of their house and the tenants don’t keep to themselves. They live near family and somebody is constantly dropping by. I don’t realize how isolated I am in my regular life, how much I close myself up inside my bubble, until I come to visit–and in some ways, I’m reminded of why I’m so solitary. It also explains why I wish the neighbors behind us would drop in unexpected sometimes. There’s a hole in their fence and they could cut through the green space and come through our gate, no problem. I’d love it if they came by to play sometimes.  Continue reading “Some Thoughts on a Saturday Morning”

The Holiday Hollow

img_0083This year, the first night of Hanukkah fell on Christmas Eve. That’s pretty cool, and not just because the two holidays coincided and we could all hold hands and sing together. It’s cool because, if you celebrate Hanukkah, you get to leap over the holiday hollow this year: that abyss between Christmas/Hanukkah and New Year’s when you kind of don’t know what to do with yourself and you feel like you’re falling and falling but the fall is so long that it drags on, so you find yourself wishing for the splat of the pavement if only to make the falling end. Then you hit New Year’s and, bruised as you might be from the impact, you manage to find a few toe holds or even a staircase back into real life.

Perhaps that’s a bit dramatic, but you know the time I mean. You might still have family in town, or time off of work. You’re all done celebrating but you don’t necessarily want to tear down the decorations. You’re waiting. You might have a lot of New Year’s resolutions, but you don’t feel like you have to enact them yet since, technically, it’s not the new year. Or maybe you have no resolutions. Maybe you’re just bored.

But this year, I’ve decided not to let it get to me. I’m going to start phasing in a few of my New Year’s resolutions (eating more fruit and veg, using my Waterpik every night) while phasing out my holiday behaviors (binge eating peanut brittle, falling asleep with my makeup on). I’m going to take down the Christmas tree because, God help me, I cannot chase the girl away from it even one more time without going insane. Instead of shuffling around waiting for the new year, I’m going to get busy preparing for it, so that on January 1 I can relax and hang out, knowing that everything is all prepped for a wonderful 2017 (inasmuch as I can control such things, which I realize is very little–but, God grant me the serenity and all that).

How about you? How are you spending the last week of 2016? Any tips on getting back to real life? Or do you avoid real life as long as possible?